Sunday, June 21, 2009
suki and I hosted the May play party for the local area BDSM group. When I had first offered to host the party the previous month, I was worried a little about the size that the party might end up. Our local group has seen a large influx of new people joining our slosh and I was sure that this would have effects on our parties as well. My house is only 1000 square feet, and both of the bedrooms were not used for the party, so this limited the space. I had thought about capping the number of RSVPs as I was also trying to expand the usable play space in the house with the addition of the whipping post, which suki referred to as 'the star of the party'. The basic layout was the suspension frame in one half of the living room by the fireplace and the piano and the whipping post now in the dining room so that the flow of traffic between these areas and the kitchen was uninterrupted. This worked out well, even leaving the chairs in the dining room so that the 'peanut gallery' had a place to set their butts. The total count was 33 people crammed into the house, with some lingering outside as the weather now permits such things. It was crowded, as I suspected, but worked out well with quite a number of people playing.
I had arranged for m and j to arrive early. m to greet guests and make an introduction so that she would become familiar with the group and to put up the guests food and drinks as they arrived. j to take care of necessary paperwork for each guest. I like to have new subs perform service duties for the party. It helps to free me up to take care of other matters and greetings. This being a case in point for m and not so much for j. j is not new to being a sub or the group, but offered the help. I didn't want to inundate m with tasks and obliged j on her offer. m was nervous. This is totally understandable. The only people that she knew were myself, suki, and MP who was to show up later with a date. I feel that having her arrive early and be a part of the structure of the party would also help to alleviate the tension and some social anxieties. Like service should be, it's a two way street. We both get something from the arrangement. I just have a much less active part in one.
The flow of the party went very well in my own opinion and observation. It has seemed that one hiccup to the flow of play parties is usually getting a transition between the social aspect to that of actual play. I've seen this in parties that I've been to in the past and it's always something that is in the back of my mind when I host them. Usually the easiest way to accomplish this is just to do a scene. Kind of like breaking the seal, it just flows after that.
Another previous arrangement to the party was to show W how to put k into a Takate Kote. This worked out well, my doing this little demo was the perfect segway to get people playing. By the point that I did this, most all of the guest had arrived, and being a demo, it drew a little crowd of people to watch. I first tied suki, explaining what I was doing, while W and k watched. I then did it again while W mimicked what I was doing. suki was a bit of a bratty sub for the demo. It slips my mind at this point what exactly she did, but it was fun and entertaining. I like this side of playing, especially while doing demos as it gives it a fun element and keeps things interesting. However, brattiness requires repercussions. Once she was in the Takate Kote, I tied a suspension rope to the back knot and and backed her up onto the platform of the whipping post, thus demonstrating how the two could go together. I ran the rope through the carabiner on the post and back to the harness and back through the carabiner and gave a little tug. At this point she made some remark about not being able to lift her up much... One good tug, and tips of her big toes just brushed the ground. First suspension on the post, it works well, and yea, repercussions... One more time going through the harness and W got a good grasp on it, and people were ready to play.
MP, coming as a top that night, requested that I tie his date, h, to the post. Into the harness she went. Now h had also never been to a party. h really had little conception of BDSM before this event. MP and I had discussed this to some length before the party. It was surprising to me that he was going to play with her (in some context) that night. It was even more of a surprise that he requested that I put her into bondage. But, I suppose that, too, was his own first experience with it, being my rope bottom, guinea pig, and service sub of sorts. I always find it a little odd to tie taller women. I'm used to suki's frame and the way that we fit together while tying (amongst many other things). Having her in the harness, I backed her up to the frame. It was at this point that it struck me that she would look good in a more western, Williesqe, damsel in distress tie. Having her harness attached to the carabiner at the top of the post, I wrapped a column tie around her thighs and the post and passed her off to MP. I have to note here that my perceptions of her changed at this point. I was really unsure about her in a general sense before this. In the general sense of: I wasn't sure exactly what MP saw in her. I have that with a lot of the women that he dates, and have always chalked it up to a difference in tastes. While I still am not sure what he sees in her, I liked the fact that she was open enough to participate, and even more so, open enough to let me tie her up. Some respect was definitely gained in my eyes. I also noted that she would make a cute pony girl. Hmm, running theme???
I took a little break as MP and m proceeded to tickle h while she was on the post, and then untied her when they were done. MP then requested that I tie m to the post, but this time not immobilized. I've tied m before, she is a tall woman, and I noted this again. In some ways it was odd doing this at the party. The first time that I tied her, we were at Transformus, a regional burn event. It was her first experience with bondage and BDSM. She had requested that I tie her after watching me tie another girl at the event. I obliged, putting her in a non-restrictive chest harness and a crotch rope. The tie ended up with a lead on it and my (now) ex-wife, m's best friend, took her for a walk around the campgrounds on the leash. After the experience she told me she didn't realize how psychological the whole experience would be. Now, she's finding her submissive side, and this was her first scene in BDSM public. The whole 'firsts' thing seems to be a recurring theme for me as well. We chatted a little bit while I was tying her and this was the point that tying her struck me as a little odd. I'm still trying to put my finger on it, but it might well have been that here was one of my good friends at the play party, and I was tying her up for my best friend and having some idle chit chat while doing it. I'm not used to idle chatting while I tie with the person that I'm tying, others around me, yes. In someways, any chatting breaks a little of my concentration. It's the concentration that helps to push me into head space, not that I tend to go into head space from just tying, but its interesting for me to think about at this point.
I handed off m to MP and went about socializing. I don't really know what they did for their scene, I was off being a social butterfly, but I know that it was a little more than some tickling. I sat down, later, on one of the chairs facing the whipping post to to talk to T and j. Some how the conversation turned to canes, and bamboo canes in particular. I've always had a thing for bamboo, I love the plant and its versatility. The discussion was about the fact that bamboo does break and what happens when it does. I handed j a piece of turtle bamboo that I had prepped the day before as a cane. As we were talking, she started to flex and bend the cane. It bent to the point of forming a 'U' and I thought to myself, there's the snapping point, I can stop her or just see what happens when it snaps. I decided to see what her reaction would be. It's always fun to watch someone have a surprise reaction. The quick note of fear flashing over the face a moment before the realization of what just happened is always precious. She had absolutely no reaction what so ever. That too was interesting, that there was no sense of surprise, no flinching, no anything but a heart felt apologetic 'I'm sorry'. All the reaction was with T and his mortification of the event. We both still laugh about this.
Sometime quite late into the night suki and I did a suspension scene. This was finally a comfy suspension for her and I got to play with her while she was up. At some point during the scene, MP, m, and h laid down on the floor under suki, looking up at her and us as I was playing with her. The rest of the room had melted away by that time, and they became part of the scene for me. I put chopsticks on suki's tongue, as I often do with the full intention of having her drool on MP. She knows that I love to see her drool and I figured if they were wanting to be close to the scene, they might as well be in the scene. Unfortunately she couldn't conjure up any saliva so I had to settle for the chopsticks falling off her tongue and onto MP. With this scene and the previous one we did at the last party we attended I've started to find a little of my 'sadistic' side. A little pain for my pleasure has been a really big turn on for me. Really, sceneing with her is just a huge turn on. It's really a combination of everything, her, the play, us.
We ran off and snuggled on the bed for a while after the scene so that we could both come down off high and return to baseline. It was late in the evening (read: morning) and the party was really starting to thin out. We returned to the party and socialized till the last of the stragglers decided that it was time to go. It was a really enjoyable party, and the best one that we've hosted yet from my perspective.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
I was first drawn to bondage, I feel, because I had some (read: a tad bit and vanilla) experience with it. I had at one point in time tied my previous LTRs to the bed and had my way with them. They had their turns as well, and I have the pics to prove it. I've also been both a boy scout and into sailing. Rope has always been around and I'm no stranger to its uses.
But then I stumbled upon shibari/kinbaku. A whole new world opened up to me. A world of beauty, art, intimacy, and Japanese to boot. I've had some fascination with Japanese crafts for some time now, feeling a connection to them in woodworking, pottery, and now bondage. I read everything that I could find on the internet and then some.
I found that the application of the rope came quite natural to me and I immediately understood how to use the wrapping techniques to restrain a body in anyway that I could really imagine. It just made sense.
I feel that the beauty, art and craft of it all roll into one. It has a very pleasing aesthetic when applied to the body in a thoughtful manner. Accentuating the body in such a way as to to exemplify not only the subject's body but also the application of the rope at the same time. Thus the beauty and the Art of it are coupled with the body to become a work in and of itself that is both sublime and temporal. The craft and the Art there in are in the application of the rope to the individual body. The body becomes the blank canvas that ask to be treated in specific ways and to be highlighted and molded in other certain ways. No two ties are ever exactly alike, as no two bodies are exactly alike.
The application of the rope lends itself very well to a high level of intimacy between both the Top and the bottom. The hands run the rope across the body such that both the hands and the rope are physically exploring. There can be very close bodily contact between the two individuals participating in the bondage.This is not to say that this is always the case. Hojojitsu was/is an application of rope for restraining a prisoner, thus showing bondage's not so erotically intimate side. In the case of more intimate application, as a Top, one is moving the bottom's body as the rope is being applied. Physically positioning the body for the particular application lends its self well to the closeness that intimacy requires.
There is also an energetic exchange that can happen in bondage. The physical intimacy that is combined with the trust on both parts of the participants foster a closeness for this type of exchange. The levels of emotions, the openness, the physicality, and the eroticism open our awareness and our energetic centers to flow more freely. The restriction of the bondage can actually be a release for the bottom into these energetic levels of being. While this isn't so for the top, it can be tapped into thru empathic being and thus heighten these for the top as well. I believe that the resultant head space is refered to as 'flying in bondage'.
Well, all of that, and it's just damn fun! Throw a Hitachi in the mix and things can get really.......