Wednesday, September 9, 2009


There have been quite a few things that I've wanted to write about in the past couple of months but have had a hard time making myself sit down and actually do it.

I've often had the conversation about impact play and the level of intimacy that is involved in it, or the lack there of. I had this conversation again this weekend at a play party while observing just such scenes. This part of the midwest seems to be very 'impact heavy'. A big draw to me for bondage and using my hands for impact (or at least very short implements) is the intimacy that it affords. Physical, emotional, energetic intimacy.

When I watch a scene where the Top/Dom is 4 feet away from the bottom/sub it just seems to me that they are not only in different physical spaces but different mental ones as well. They separate from each other to have their own independent experiences. I don't feel that this is so much the case with closer, personal interaction. The closeness of physical contact, by and large, inserts one another into the individuals personal experience. The experience becomes a shared experience rather than sharing in an experience. And this wasn't even what I really sat down to write about, more just something that seems to come up again and again.

I was thinking about flogging in particular. Suki and I had a conversation about impact play vs bondage/physically intimate scenes and she made the comment that flogging, in particular, was very showy. That the difference in the two ways of play is like elephant art vs. termite art. This got me thinking about 'showiness' in scenes and that in many ways we partake in some of the showiest of scenes out there. That of suspensions.

Going over some other peoples thoughts on newaza (bondage ground work) vs suspensions it was noted that suspensions lacked a level of intimacy. Looking at this in comparison to newaza, I would agree that there is a small level drop there. But, comparing it to impact, I still feel that there is a much higher level of intimacy.

She and I also did some Pony Play at GLLA along with a suspension. As for showiness, I find that Pony Play is the ultimate in showiness of the types of play that we do in public. And this makes perfect sense to me. Playing in public should be showy. It's an exhibitionistic/voyeuristic exercise for me. Public Play has always been a big turn on for me and calls out my showy nature, my exhibitionist side, my nihilistic voyeurism.

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