Wednesday, September 9, 2009


There have been quite a few things that I've wanted to write about in the past couple of months but have had a hard time making myself sit down and actually do it.

I've often had the conversation about impact play and the level of intimacy that is involved in it, or the lack there of. I had this conversation again this weekend at a play party while observing just such scenes. This part of the midwest seems to be very 'impact heavy'. A big draw to me for bondage and using my hands for impact (or at least very short implements) is the intimacy that it affords. Physical, emotional, energetic intimacy.

When I watch a scene where the Top/Dom is 4 feet away from the bottom/sub it just seems to me that they are not only in different physical spaces but different mental ones as well. They separate from each other to have their own independent experiences. I don't feel that this is so much the case with closer, personal interaction. The closeness of physical contact, by and large, inserts one another into the individuals personal experience. The experience becomes a shared experience rather than sharing in an experience. And this wasn't even what I really sat down to write about, more just something that seems to come up again and again.

I was thinking about flogging in particular. Suki and I had a conversation about impact play vs bondage/physically intimate scenes and she made the comment that flogging, in particular, was very showy. That the difference in the two ways of play is like elephant art vs. termite art. This got me thinking about 'showiness' in scenes and that in many ways we partake in some of the showiest of scenes out there. That of suspensions.

Going over some other peoples thoughts on newaza (bondage ground work) vs suspensions it was noted that suspensions lacked a level of intimacy. Looking at this in comparison to newaza, I would agree that there is a small level drop there. But, comparing it to impact, I still feel that there is a much higher level of intimacy.

She and I also did some Pony Play at GLLA along with a suspension. As for showiness, I find that Pony Play is the ultimate in showiness of the types of play that we do in public. And this makes perfect sense to me. Playing in public should be showy. It's an exhibitionistic/voyeuristic exercise for me. Public Play has always been a big turn on for me and calls out my showy nature, my exhibitionist side, my nihilistic voyeurism.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Tippecanoe Fishing...

I've had the itch to go fishing for a couple of weeks now. It's been over a year and a half since I've been. I think that driving over the bridges of the White River for the past couple of weeks is what really set this in motion. The river has been down due to lack of rain and has looked really inviting. It's always a very calming thing for me to fish on the banks or even in the river. I prefer to fish in the river and to feel the water rushing around my legs and minnows nipping at the hairs. That is, if it's warm enough. The best time for this is when its really hot outside and the water feels not only calming but refreshing as well. August seems to be a prime month for this, and as I'm writing this I'm contemplating going down to the White...

M called me up on Thursday to see if I wanted to go fishing with him over the weekend. This was my chance (or more, my excuse) to get my license and fulfill this urge. I figured that he would want to go to the Tippecanoe to go fishing. I love fishing rivers, the variation in the types of water keep things interesting. Even going to the same place day to day will see a series of changes in that particular spot of the river. With the variety of types of water also typically comes a variety in the types of fish in a river. This can be a fun thing as well as you never know exactly what it is that you will catch.

Normally I fish for Small Mouth Bass. Because this bass tends to be a smaller to medium sized species of fish, fishing for it often lead to catching other types of fish as well. I find this very appealing too. While in the Boundary Waters fishing for Small Mouth often also leads to catching Norther Pike, and often large ones. When fishing there, I change up the way that I fish slightly to accommodate this by using a heavy leader so that the occasional Northern won't chomp off my lure. But river fishing doesn't really require any adjustment to the way that I fish to catch things other than Small Mouths. This weekend was a prime example of this.

While I did catch a number of Small Mouths there were a few other singular fish that I also caught as well. The first, and this shouldn't come as a surprise for those in the know, was a Walleye. Before catching this one, M and I were chatting in the canoe about Walleye. Him saying that he would like to catch some of these for dinner that night. Admittedly I did too as Walleye is my favorite of all the cooked fish I've ever had, fresh or salt water. I told M that I was familiar with catching them in lakes as I fished for them also quite a bit in the Boundary Waters for food. However, I wasn't very familiar with targeting them specifically in rivers. The techniques in lakes for these 2 fish are very different as they occupy very different parts of the lake. Well, not so much in rivers, especially small ones where predatory fish seem to hunt similar areas.

Another fish that I caught was a Skip Jack Herring. This was a fun fish to catch and seemed very similar to catching a Small Mouth as they are both strong fighters and jumpers. I love catching jumping fish. These 2 traits are the reason that I continually fish for Small Mouths. And Smallies in rivers pull harder, despite the fact that they don't get quite as big typically, but I digress. Upon inspecting the Skip Jack I commented to M that that it looked and fought like a freshwater Tarpon. In fact, one of its nicknames is 'Tennessee Tarpon'. The similarities are very very striking. Later on when we were chatting again I queried to M that I wondered what the eatability of this fish was. Not very good without pickling it first I just found out via google. M noted that he didn't think that it would be a good one to eat due its diet. This isn't so much the case as it's more that it's a very bony and oily fish. Since I typically don't go fishing specifically for food, this might be a fun species to try and target. Besides, it would be fun to tell people I'm fishing for 'Fresh water Tarpon'.

The third type of fish that I caught that wasn't a Small Mouth was a Fresh Water Drum. I never did say anything about the eatability of this fish as I had always (wrongly) assumed that it was a bottom feeder much like a carp. But this is only because the shape of the fishes body is similar to that of a carp. I also thought it odd that I caught these last 2 fish in the way I was fishing as well. I was fishing with lures that mimic minnows. Minnows seem to be high on the diet of both of these fish. And, in fact, Freshwater drum is supposed to be really good to eat. Some even compare it to Walleye. That's good to know as that is the 2nd time I've caught one while fishing for Smallies on the Tippy.

All in all it was a great weekend for fishing. It was great to be on the river and getting exercise from paddling the canoe and soaking in the soon to be last of the summer sun. Hopefully I can get out a couple more times before the season ends.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Paper Cranes

Written about 9 years ago...

I first learned to fold a paper crane when I was 6 years old. Through the years I've folded cranes for a number of reasons, the majority good. Mostly it was something to do to occupy my time. It has always been a fascination/ and a passion of mine and I never quite understood what the draw to them was until fairly recently. Upon learning more about the Japanese aesthetic I realized that this fascination of mine was two-fold. First, that something as simple as a mere sheet of square paper had the potential to become an object of such beauty and admiration. Second, that the integrity of the end product is wholly dependent upon the exacting execution of a number of very simple folds. Mistakes have and will be made in every attempt in this creative endeavor. This is how we learn.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Protocols For suki

Originally posted to our private blog on: THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 13, 2008

Protocol for suki in 'High Protocol' sessions:

1) Addressing me: You will address me as 'Master' or 'Sir' at the beginning or the end of a complete thought/paragraph - statement. A 5 second pause between sentences is a good indicator that the honorific should be used in the next complete thought/paragraph. The honorific 'Master' will be used in private and you have the choice of 'Master' or 'Sir' in a public BDSM friendly environment. Consideration is being made for use of honorifics within the general public and will be established at a later date. At this point in time they will not be necessary in the general public and the rest of this document is specifically for private or BDSM friendly 'High Protocol' sessions.

2) Sitting: At any point at which we are together and I am sitting you are to be sitting as well. You should always be sitting at the same level or below the level that I am sitting at. Kneeling on the floor, while not strictly necessary would be perfectly acceptable. You will sit to my left unless that is unfeasible, at which point you will sit in front or behind me. Sitting to my right should only be a lost resort.

3) Standing position: Always stand on my left and at least one body position behind. This also applies to walking. If there is not enough room to my left you should walk behind me, and only on the right as an absolute last resort.

4) Eye contact/head posture: head to remain lowered unless being directly addressed or spoken to, in which case head can be raised to slightly below normal horizontal position and direct eye contact can be made. Eye contact is restricted to conversation and being addressed, otherwise you are to avoid eye contact. You are allowed to observe scenes, however you are to also abide by the protocols while doing so. If someone makes direct eye contact with you, you are to look away unless/until addressed. In this, addressed refers to being verbally addressed.

5) Permission: If addressed in my presence you are to ask my permission to speak. Simple eye contact with me will be considered appropriate, at which time permission will either be granted or not with a nod of my head and a knowing look. If for any reason it seems unclear that I understood your request for any reason, you are to verbally re-request permission. If at any time you wish to speak of your own accord without being addressed first you will verbally ask my permission before doing so.

You are also to ask my permission to leave my presence at any time. Within this, personal time for smokes or the bathroom can be taken 'in mode' if desired and preferred.

You are to ask my permission at any time to leave 'mode'. Exceptions to this are safe-wording, in which case 'mode' or 'role' is immediately dropped and all protocol is null and void. This also includes my safe-wording as well. Breaks such as using the bathroom and smokes can be done 'out of mode', but is preferred to be done 'in mode'. Breaks from mode should be reserved for time needed for grounding or other reasons personal or otherwise that would require breaking mode. When leaving mode you will be de-collared. When entering mode you will be collared.

6) Socializing: When socializing you will give the others, regardless of stature, the courtesy of the following protocols: 1) Addressing other as either 'Sir' or 'Miss' or any specific honorific that they request. 2) Sitting: Abide by the above protocol. 4) Eye contact/head posture: Abide by the above protocol.

7) Etiquette: You will remain courteous and well presented in accordance to standard accepted social etiquette at all times. This is the same etiquette that would be expected from any formal gathering.

8) Cell phones of both parties will be turned off during 'High Protocol' sessions.

These Protocols are subject to change at any time. You will be notified verbally at the time they are changed/amended. This document will also reflect those changes in a timely manner so that they may be in writing.

In any 'High Protocol' sessions you will be expected to adhere to the above protocols. I will assist in your training of these as I see fit, keeping both your physical and emotional safety in mind while doing so


Sent from my iPod

Monday, July 27, 2009

Panel Discussion...

I compiled my thoughts on rope bondage earlier in preparation for sitting on a panel for discussion on the topic. suki and I also did a demo at the play party afterward. I was one of 4 on the panel of 'experts' and clearly the one with the least amount of time being involved in it. The experience ranged from myself with just a little over a year into it to D who has been into it for some 30 years. Funnily enough, when we all went up to the front of the room, we lined ourselves up in order of this experience. However, we didn't realize it until we had each taken a turn and gone down the line to introduce ourselves. I was pretty quiet on the panel, not answering very many questions. Really, the questions were pretty straight forward and suki could have answered all of them. Factor this in with D wanting to answer all of them and I was just as happy to sit back and listen and add my minor interjections here and there. Throwing around the word 'expert' really stuck with me from all of this. I've not considered myself an 'expert' at anything, just trying to do the best that I can at anything that I do. Though the course of my experiences in the public scene, I have realized that I am a quick learner and take pride in doing things to the best of my abilities. Bondage and BDSM being no different.

suki and I had a wonderful conversation on the drive to the munch about what it is like for her to be in bondage. What the feelings are, what the head space feels like, the attraction to it, etc. I had the thought that for me it would be more interesting to see a panel of rope bottoms discussing it from that angle. It makes sense as I understand it from the Top and have more limited experiences with it from the bottom. I've enjoyed the experiences that I have had from the bottom and look forward to more as it expands my awareness of it as a whole.

The demo that we did at the Play Party after the Munch was in the fenced off 'dungeon' section of the basement of the club. All of us who were on the panel were to do our demos at the same time. As there was only one suspension frame, S waited it out till suki and I were done. We did a semi-suspension with her on her tipi toes and one leg high in the air like a ballerina. Once up, I twirled her around a few times while running my hands over her body. It had the air of a performance more than anything. It struck me that this was the first time that one of our scenes had really felt that way to me. It makes sense, being a demo. However, demos in the past have not really had that feel up to this point. suki typically gets a little showy and bratty for lack of better words. This tends to trow a highly playful bent to our demos and they feel more like amusing scenes in and of them selves. Entertainment more than demos, but without the feelings of actually being a performance. I'm not sure if it was the fact that we had almost the entire party as an audience, that the demos were behind a fence, or that all of the panelist were 'demoing' at the same time that made it feel that way. I image to some degree it was the combination of all three. We've since done a full suspension at a party where we had the rapt attention of almost the entire room during the scene. To the point that a once fairly loud room became so quiet that the music actually stood out, and this scene felt less like a performance than the demo did.

Later that night, we did an actual scene with her strapped up to a whipping post of sorts in a strappado position. This was a full on scene with more going on than just the bondage. I had bought a few new toys and was testing them out during this scene. The whipping post was positioned right up at the front of the fence. At a point about half way thru the scene a guy walked right up to us on the other side of the fence to check it out. I really got the feeling that he was checking suki out. This really kicked in the performance feeling for me again. I briefly ran this thru my head while going about what I was doing (placing clothes pins on her nipples). I think his timing is what really jarred me, that I was tormenting her breasts and someone would come up and invade our personal space. Despite the fact that the fence was there, he walked right up to us within 2 feet. I felt that our personal space had been invaded. It's not like we were some animals at the zoo, there are still accepted norms of personal space, even with a chain link divider. I bet he doesn't do that to his neighbor in his back yard.

All in all it was a good party and panel discussion and makes me think more about performances and the possibilities there in... Who knows what the future holds.

***Please note that the strappado IS NOT a suspension nor a semi-suspension technique. Done incorrectly it can dislocate both arms***

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Hoof Boots

My latest DIY project is a pair of Hoof Boots for suki for the play party tomorrow night. Below are the pics:

These are the raw starting materials for the boots: one pair of older platform fetish boots, one block of mahogany, and a pair of rubber pony shoes.

Almost finished boots showing the bottoms with the pony shoes.

suki trying them on before the final tweek. She didn't make it very long with them like this as it pushed the center of gravity too far forward.

Version 1.0 with heels added for stability. These worked out well and V. 2.0 is already being planned.

Saturday, July 11, 2009


In preparation for The Black Monday's Drag King show I shaved my legs and chest last night. Not that I'm in the show or anything, but one of my friends is and they want to have some audience participation in dressing up. I've dressed in drag a few times and have enjoyed the experience, so I decided 'what the hell'. I have a prom dress that my ex-wife left that I can barely squeeze into. Not that I'm a big guy or anything, its just that my chest is a little wider than hers is, in circumference, breasts not withstanding. suki, zipping me up and not being able to quite get the zipper all the way up says to me: "You need to lose some weight so you will fit in your prom dress". I turned around, laughed and asked: "Do I look fat?"

It was the longest shower that I can ever remember taking, or at least it seemed like the longest time that I've spent in the bathroom since I don't know when. Typically a shower, by my self, takes on average of about 7-10 minutes. I was in the bathroom for well over an hour. And I only did my legs and chest with a maintenance once over on the pubic area. I've been shaving my pubic area for some time, so that is included in my 7-10 minute routine. I had contemplated doing my arms and my arm pits. I decided against it because 1) if I did do them, I would have been terribly late getting out of town because 2) my clippers had run outta juice after the first leg and I had to do the second leg after the shower switching between another pair of clipper that *suck ass* and what little charge I could get on my good ones. I ended up mostly using the sucky ones on the last leg, and it was taking *forever*.

I have a little razor burn on my upper legs today, but the feeling (other than a little itchiness there) is still a little bit of vulnerability and heightened sensitivity. I remember the sensitivity from doing this before, but I don't remember the feeling of vulnerability. My legs feel very exposed to my surroundings, to the point that I contemplated if it would make them more susceptible to injury. Seriously, that's how vulnerable they feel upon doing this. Well, at the very start at least. I do admit that they don't feel as vulnerable today as they did yesterday. But, it's still there. I had the opposite feeling when I shaved my pubic area in the beginning. That felt very liberating as well as increasing the sensitivity. Even when naked, it didn't make me feel vulnerable. It just took a couple of days to get used to how it looked, but never this sense of vulnerability.

The sensitivity seems to be increased with my legs as compared to my pubic area. I just keep wanting to touch them. When I first did it I wanted someone else to touch them. It felt so good and different than normal when I did, that I figured that it would be compounded if someone else did (I found out later I was right). I remember touching myself after doing my pubic area in the beginning, but that was nothing like this. I couldn't keep my hands off my legs yesterday. Even in public, I would sit so that I could have my hands on one of them. I hope this feeling sticks around for a while. I'm sure that I will eventually get used to it, but I will probably keep up with this for a little while to enjoy this new found sensitivity.

Some notes on difficult parts to shave (in descending order of difficulty):

3) Ankles. Some weird shapes here that even a single blade razor has difficulty getting into.

2) Knees. Same as above but even more so. I probably spent more time shaving here than anywhere. The fact that I have knobby knees and bony ankles doesn't help.

1) Balls. MmmHmm, these suckers are terribly difficult to shave well. After months of doing it, I'm still not sure that I've ever really had them shaved well. Think of trying to shave something that will never hold still and never hold the same shape and then you can start to get an idea of what its like if you've never done it.